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Hi, I’m Frank Di Genova, founder of “Thriving Relationships ❤️‍🔥 Community For Couples on Facebook.” I was born in Toronto Canada to Italian parents. My birth was premature, and a very traumatic experience; for my parents, myself, and my stillborn twin brother. My mother had also died, but after receiving 5 blood transfusions… she came back. Unfortunately, we were unable to forge a bond; all she could do was cry helplessly behind the glass of the neonatal intensive care unit. I was alone, motherless, and afraid inside a glass box for a month—my only contact was from the random nurses coming in to change my soiled diapers, and whatever else they needed to do. I was just over 4 pounds. As a result, my feelings of abandonment and helplessness prevented me from feeling safe in this world. My desperate need for security and connection caused me to learn many unhealthy coping skills.
At the age of 2, I secretly ate a box of liquor-filled chocolates. My young neurological pathways were instantly hardwired to crave the most addictive substances: alcohol, caffeine and sugar. When I was 12, I experienced a horrific traumatic event at knifepoint by older teenagers. My teenage years were filled with anger, shame, and survivor’s guilt; I should have died, not my brother. My parents fought all the time; I was afraid they would divorce, but also wished they did.
I got married at 24 and had my son at 27. I proposed to my wife only a year after meeting her because she didn’t want a long engagement. I panicked, thinking she was going to leave (my only chance at being loved might have slipped away). But then 10 years later, I ended up leaving her. A year after that, I got into a 4-year common-law relationship that ended tragically.
Although I did everything a faithful and honourable man could for a woman; nothing was ever good enough for either of them; proving to me that I was still unlovable and unworthy of love. I even looked to God and spirituality for validation; fasting, meditating for hours a day and eating no meat for 7 years… still nothing. What else did I have to do to earn love? Rejected even by God? I was a broken man.
In a last-ditch attempt and for revenge on all the women who’ve hurt me, I learned and mastered The Art Of Pickup. That only sunk me deeper into depression, shame and guilt for treating women so badly. We attract what we are, not what we want; it all felt so empty and shallow. When I didn’t think anything could get any worse, I lost my young mother to cancer. My whole world was shattered. This is when I decided to start turning my life around. I was not going to let my opportunity to enjoy this precious but short gift (life) slip away.
What made you begin your transformation?
It was when I dated a woman 18 years younger than myself, for the first time in my life, consciously, I noticed myself getting triggered, anxious and defensive around her; and always needing to prove myself. It wasn’t the ah-ah moment I needed, not yet… but it was the catalyst for it. I knew something needed to be done… a pattern was discovered. I was people-pleasing to earn love and acceptance because I didn’t feel I deserved it. I also noticed that I attracted dominant women; like my mother.
What did you struggle with?
I struggled with not feeling worthy of love, and never “being enough,” no matter what I did. I was too nice and felt taken advantage of; afraid to speak up for fear of rejection. I never felt seen, heard, valued or understood in my relationships. I felt trapped and had thoughts (and one failed attempt) of ending my life. I struggled with substance and food addictions and ate my feelings. The fat around me was the perfect armour for protecting my heart and against being vulnerable. My physical and emotional health was declining; I isolated and withdrew, battling depression and anger. I became jaded towards women and love.
What was your big helpful realization?
I was at a Yoga Show hoping to meet my elusive unicorn Goddess; instead, I bumped into an exhibitor. He, was a sound healer, with long blonde hair wearing crystals and beads. He said, “Hi, peace, love and light brother.” in the softest voice ever… AND THEN IT HIT ME! Everything I had learned from my 37 years as a hairstylist, the initiations, esoteric and spiritual teachings, every relationship and failure I ever had (the younger woman), my mother, everything I wrote about relationships in my first two books, and every life event all collided into one big-bang ah-ha explosion! Everything made perfect sense… it was all about knowing masculine and feminine energy!
How did things start to improve for you?
As I began learning more and implementing this new knowledge, I found life and relationships began to flow! I was excited, it was as if the universe finally had my back. I wasn’t fighting against it anymore. Hopelessness no longer had its teeth in me, I felt inspired and empowered. New information kept presenting itself, it was always there, but I couldn’t see it. I realized how spirituality, the ancient texts, life, nature, quantum physics and all of the sciences were all whispering in unison… as above so below.
And what does your life look like now, after going through the transformation?
Today, my life has drastically transformed. My confidence is through the roof, I’m happy and love life again. I’m open to real love without thinking I have to earn it or be afraid of getting hurt. My sense of being whole or complete isn’t dependent on another loving or accepting me. No more chasing love. I’m in full control of my thoughts, emotions and actions, especially in my relationships; whereas before, I went along, to get along. Self-respect, care and discernment are ways I love myself now. I’ve developed healthy boundaries and have learned to respect other people’s space; I’m way more compassionate and patient than ever before. I’m able to communicate in a clean and an effective way; “talks” don’t end up in fights or arguments anymore.
I’m teaching, coaching, doing workshops and writing books to help people thrive in their relationships. I’m Soul-excited to bring all the knowledge and passion I’ve learned to those struggling just as I was.
I just launched my Facebook group for couples who want to bring in even more passion into their relationship. Who wants to join me on this adventure? All you have to do is click here:
My deepest gratitude